When it comes to a divorce, it is difficult to tell your spouse. It is even harder to tell family and friends. If you are thinking about divorce, and have decided to do it, tell your spouse first. Then tell your family.
Timing is important. Don’t tell them at something like a Thanksgiving dinner. Arrange a mutually beneficial time where you can tell one of your closest family members. Tell them how you feel and what you think. Venting is acceptable.
Your family will totally understand and it is much better than them hearing it through word of mouth. Also, try your best to keep calm and speak calmly. Sure some of them will be shocked. Especially if there were no warning signs that the marriage was in trouble.
Something you should NEVER do is tell them over the phone, on an answering machine or in a letter. If it is something that you cannot face to do right now, don’t worry. Wait until you have had the time to accept it and then tell them.
Your friends and family members will surely have questions and it is your right to answer them or not. They don’t need to know all the details. It is not their relationship that is breaking up.
Telling children is another matter. It is best to wait to tell them until you both can sit down together with them and calmly tell them as gently as you both can. They must be made aware that it is nothing that they have done that has caused the relationship breakdown.
Relationship breakdowns are hard on everyone, friends, family and those whose relationships are failing. This should not be something that is hard to tell friends or family because they should love you enough to be your support person.
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